Reader Spent $300 on Niece's Wedding After $500,000 Bitcoin Loss

A 78-year-old woman in Nevada sent $300 to her niece for a summer wedding. She chose not to attend the ceremony. The decision follows a year in which her husband, age 79, lost $500,000 to a fraudulent bitcoin site. The couple still has $500,000 in savings, but the loss has left the woman angry and conflicted.

The woman suffers from scoliosis and chronic pain. She has long dreamed of visiting Italy to see art and sculptures. She declined the wedding invitation in a timely manner. She lives in Nevada, while her niece lives in New York. She wrote to the Dear Abby column seeking help to let go of guilt so she can enjoy her planned trip.

Abigail Van Buren replied to the reader, who signed the letter as Weighing the Options. The columnist noted that the reader did not appear particularly close to the niece. If the relationship were stronger, Van Buren might have advised against skipping the event. However, the columnist said the reader performed the standard social duties by sending a gift and declining politely. Van Buren stated that the reader’s conscience should be clear and that she does not owe the family more than she has already given.

Van Buren advised the reader to keep planning the Italy trip. The columnist suggested the vacation might help work out the resentment the reader has been holding. Van Buren wrote that focusing on personal fulfillment for a while could reduce anger upon the reader’s return. The column ended with the Italian phrase Buon viaggio.

The same column included advice for a reader in Iowa whose fiancée attends a monthly breakfast with retired men. The reader felt the fiancée should stop going because the other men are married and flirt with her. Van Buren said the breakfast is not a threat to the relationship. The columnist advised the reader to calm down before appearing insecure or overbearing. The only reason to stop, Van Buren wrote, is if the fiancée feels uncomfortable.

A third reader asked how to handle a book club member who drapes her legs on furniture when visiting her home. The reader described the member as a 50-year-old woman. Van Buren suggested taking the guest aside and telling her privately that the host prefers guests keep their feet on the floor when entertaining at home.

Jeanne Phillips has written the Dear Abby column for nearly four decades. The column was founded in 1956 by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Readers can contact the column at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 270135, Kansas City, MO 64127.